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Tony H   12-23-2008, 04:53 PM
#61
sigokat Wrote:Ah you were 1ID. I was looking at the units that you listed and they came up under 2AD and 1AD. Guess I didn't look close enough LOL

When I first got my orders to Germany I was hoping to go to a Division, either 1ID or 1AD (I was hoping for the Big Red One), but alas it was not to be. I got stuck in a Corps Asset Unit. Gotta love Corps :prrr:

Maybe you can answer this...why do some 1ID units wear the subdued patch, but some wear the colored 1 patch? I heard that different Brigades wore different ones, but that didn't make much sense to me.

Which one did you wear on your BDUs?

On the BDU's we used the black on green, on our class A's we used the one above.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-23-2008, 06:29 PM
#62
Tabbi:
(Clutches his bloody mouth) Are you wearing boots?

Cobalt:
(Launches at Tabbi and delivers a series of brutal hand-to-hand combat moves in rapid succession) Yes…and they’re fabulous!
Tabbi:
(Grabs cobalt by the arm and puts her in a half-nelson restraint and slams her face onto the counter.) Do yourself a favor and don’t fight.

Cobalt:
(high pitched and muffled) Oookay.

Sig:
Get your hands off of her you son of a bitch.

Tony:
(Cranes neck over his shoulder and sees Sig entering the kitchen through the swinging door…he looks pissed) Oh Sig! My hero!!!

Sig:
Cram it Mary…I got business with him. (Points to Tabbi)

Tony:
Well…you don’t have to be rude.

Sig:
(removes his gloves and drops them to the floor. ) Rude Sig…cordial Sig…I’m the guy with the guns. (Flexes)

Tabbi:
(Releases his grip on Cobalt and throws her violently to the floor)

Cobalt:
(Screams) THAT HURT YOU JERK! (looks at the floor…) Hey…I found my contact lense!

Tony:
Can someone untie me please?

Sig:
(Runs at Tabbi and clotheslines him. Tabbi flips head over heels and crashes to the floor on his back. Sig grabs Tabbi by the lapels and hoists him off the ground and slams him into the wal. Sig takes a step back and kicks Tabbi in the chest. The wall behind Tabbi cracks and plaster falls to the ground.)

Tabbi:
Is that all you military types know how to do? Kick, punch and throw?


Sig:
No, we can also march in unison and make love.

Tabbi:
Uh…

Sig:
…Not to each other.

Tony:
Can someone please untie me?

Tabbi:
(Pushes away from the wall and attacks Sig with a solid punch to the jaw. ) How about a mouthful of bloody Chiclets?

Sig:
(Sig drops to a knee, spits blood onto the floor…) Oh, sorry Cobalt.

Cobalt:
(Still laying on the floor) That’s okay…I shouldn’t have worn white after labor day anyway.

Tabbi:
Let’s finish this soldier boy!

(The door leading to the outside from the kitchen bursts open and a bloody and battered Brian emerges onto the set. He looks disoriented and angered.)

Brian:
Where is the bastard who did this to me?

Tabbi:
Good question? Are you going to take care of him for me?

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-23-2008, 06:30 PM
#63
Brian:
Ready and eager to kick ass! Say when, where and how hard.

Tony:
Well…no hurry to be untied now.

Fenny:
(Entering the kitchen through the swinging door) Didn’t I throw you off the roof?
Brian:
Yeah…luckily I landed on my head.

Fenny:
Well, clearly I need to aim for something less dense.

Brian:
If you think you’re man enough!

(Brian and Fenny charge each other. Brian lands a punch in fenny’s stomach. Fenny doubles over and Brian drops an elbow into his back dropping the soildier to the ground.)

(Sig gets to his feet and lands an uppercut under Tabbi’s jaw sending him flailing backwards. Before Tabbi can fall Sig pulls two knives from the front of his Kevlar vest and slams them hilt deep into Tabbi’s chest. Sig steps back and draws a .9mm from the holster and draws a bead on Tabbi’s head.)

Tabbi:
(Gasping) You don’t really want to kill me do you?

Sig:
Never ask a question whose answer you don’t really want to hear. (Pulls the trigger)

(Fenny and Brian are embroiled in a bitter battle. The two men are tossing each other around, punching, kicking…)

Tony:
Can someone untie me please?

Cobalt:
(Just now regaining her footing runs headlong into the battle between Brian and Fenny. She leaps onto Brian’s back and begins clawing at his face and pulling his hair. He begins bucking wildly trying to throw the woman from his frame. Cobalt pulls hard on his hair lurching the hulking man’s head back.) This is like castrating a bull back home!!!!

Fenny:
(Punches Brian in the exposed throat, a loud snap is heard and a loud gurgling noise emanates from Brian whose thrashing slows and eventually stops as he slumps to the floor. Cobalt jumps from his back as the solid man hits his knees then plants face first into the kitchen floor.) Damn…that was disgusting.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Brian   12-23-2008, 08:12 PM
#64
LMFAO!!! Damn, the guys in the office think I'm nuts. I'm laughing so hard I almost tipped my chair over. Tony you are the man! Wait till Cobalt sees this, she'll get hysterical.

There is no wise man without fault
cobalt   12-23-2008, 10:44 PM
#65
Brian Wrote:LMFAO!!! Damn, the guys in the office think I'm nuts. I'm laughing so hard I almost tipped my chair over. Tony you are the man! Wait till Cobalt sees this, she'll get hysterical.
Sh!t he broke! Does that mean I have to find another?
.gif
hysterical.gif (Size: 5.74 KB Downloads: 48)

EWMAN
Sigokat   12-24-2008, 01:48 AM
#66
That was truly awesome!! I totally kicked Tabbi's ass.

Keep up the good work, Mary...err...I mean Tony. Big Grin

Major K

"He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a Prince." George Graham Vest

"We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us." - Maurice Maeterlinck
Tony H   12-29-2008, 01:49 PM
#67
SCENE IV

(EXT SHOT of the lanai. Fenny, Sig and cousin Steve are sitting around the table drinking iced tea. Cousin Steve’s face is nothing but a red wet mess with two bulging eyes poking out of their sockets.)

Sig:
Sorry about not being able to save your face.

Steve:
NO WORRIES SIG! AT LEAST YOU STOPPED THAT MAD MAN!!!

Fenny:
That we did, the world is once again safe.

(Cobalt enters the lanai carrying a tray brimming with tacos)

Cobalt:
Dinner’s finally ready. (laughs nervously)I’m sorry about the wait.

Steve:
NO NEED TO BE SORRY! I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!

Sig:
(shaking head) I see the family resemblance now.

Fenny:
I can’t wait to bury my face into a taco.

Sig:
Taco’s are AWESOME!

Cobalt:
Taco’s are the best. Nothing warms the cockles of my heart like a hot juicy taco.

Fenny:
(Laughs hysterically) TACOS!!!!

Sig:
Cobalt loves tacos as much as we guys! (Slaps the table top repeatedly)

Steve:
I CAN EAT A TACO LIKE IT’S NOBODY’S BUSINESS!! YOU MIGHT EVEN SAY I AM A PRO!
Sig:
Yeah son! You da man!

Steve:
GIVE ME A JUICY TACO ANYDAY!!!

Fenny:
The breakfast of champions! (pumps fist excitedly into the air.)

Steve:
A PIPING HOT TACO FILLED WITH DRIPPING CHEESE!!

Fenny and Sig in unison:
UGH!!!! No!!!

Cobalt:
(Rubs her arms.) It’s a bit chilly out this evening…but at least we are all safe.

Fenny:
I’m going to go and brew some java. (stands up and point’s to everyone at the table.) How many people drink coffee?

Cobalt:
Oh…I don’t know…probably millions.

(Doorbell rings)

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-29-2008, 01:50 PM
#68
Fenny:
Since I’m up, I’ll get it. (Exits the lanai and walks through the family room to the front door. He pulls open the door and sees a young girl standing there wearing a girl scout uniform.) A little late in the season to be selling girl scout cookies.

Libby:
Due to popular demand we are now taking pre-pre-orders. To get an idea of what people will buy when it comes time to order.

Fenny:
Well, that sounds good. It’s nice to see the Girl Scouts are preparing you young ladies for the future by teaching you basic business management skills.

Libby:
How many of you live in this household.
Fenny:
Well, there is Sig, Me, and the 2 ladies.

Libby:
Ah..so there’s six.

Fenny:
That would be four.

Libby:
Exactly.

Fenny:
You’re not odd at all.

Libby:
Thank you Fenny…have a good night.

Fenny:
Uh huh. (shuts the door) Strange…she didn’t even ask what kind of cookies we like.

(EXT SHOT: Camera follows Libby as she skips down the steps off the front porch. She stops at the curb and takes out a cell phone and dials a number.)

Voice on other end of phone:
Bonjour? C'est Lysistrata

Libby:
Salut Lysis. J'ai confirmé l'emplacement de l'Alpha-Force

Lys:
Excellent. We attaque en quatre semaines

Libby:
I want in on it. They killed my father Tabbi Katz. I want in on their demise.

Lys:
So be it. They will surely suffer.

(Scene Transitions to Cobalt, Fenny, Sig and Cousin Steve sitting around the table on the lanai drinking coffee and eating cheesecake.)



Cousin Steve:
IT HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL EVENING BUT I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP…IT HAS BEEN A LONG EXHAUSTING TRIP HERE!!!!

Cobalt:
I think we all need to retire for the evening. I will see everyone in the morning.

(Everyone gets up and walks inside. Camera pulls out to show an external view of the house as all the lights turn off one by one. The house is completely dark and the sound of chirping crickets plays. In the distance we hear the calming crash of waves on the Miami shores and a seagull cries. The Directed by credit appears on the screen.)

Tony:
Can someone please untie me?!?!?

(Fade to black)

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-29-2008, 01:51 PM
#69
Scene 1
EXT SHOT
Golden Girls house with palm trees swaying in the background. The familiar intro music wells as the director and screen writer credits overlay the image.
INT SHOT
Tony sits on the sofa dressed in a flowing Dorothy Zbornak style house robe complete with 80’s style shoulder pads doing a crossword puzzle. The front door opens and Cobalt and Steve walk in looking shaken.

Steve:
I’ll find the number to the insurance company and then call the doctor to make appointments for us.

Tony:
(without looking up from his crossword puzzle) Did you eat from the Shoney’s buffet again?

Cobalt:
Worse, we got into a car accident.

Tony:
(lowers paper) Oh my God…are you okay?

Cobalt:
We’re fine, a little shaken, but your car has seen better days.

Tony:
MY car?!?!

Cobalt:
The boys had my car blocked in. I didn’t think you would mind.

Tony:
(Gets up and walks over to the door and leans out) My back end is completely ruined!

Fenny:
(off screen outside) Maybe if you gave it a weeks rest it will pop back into shape!

Tony:
(Backs into the house clutching his robe at the collar. Slams the door) cobalt…how did you manage to wreck the back end of my car? It was facing the street.


Cobalt:
I don’t know Tony…I did everything I typically do. I got in, buckled up, checked the mirrors, started the car and let it idle before putting it into “R” for ride.

Tony:
Ah…how silly of me to think you didn’t know what you were doing.

Steve:
(Entering the family room from the kitchen) Okay…I called your doctor and she can see us both at noon today. She said she going to be working out at the gym all day. She has cardio at eleven and buttocks at one…she said she could squeeze us between them at noon.

Tony:
Why aren’t you yelling anymore?

Steve:
When Cobalt backed into the tree I got quite the jarring and since then I have been able to hear. I don’t know how much more blunt force trauma my head can take before I give up the ghost.

Tony:
Well, if Sig can take years of his head cracking headboards all across the 48 contiguous states then surely you can take another few knocks to the head. (Whacks Steve playfully on the head with the newspaper.)

Steve:
ACK! (Slumps to the floor)

Cobalt:
STEVE! (stoops beside the crumpled body of her cousin and checks his pulse) Way to go Tony…I’ll call the hospital.

Tony:
I’ll do it. (As he steps over Steve his foot kicks the unconscious man in the temple.)





“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-29-2008, 02:17 PM
#70
Scene 2
(INT SHOT OF HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM. Sig, Cobalt, and Tony are seated in the waiting room. Fenny is talking to a doctor on the opposite side of the waiting room. He turns from the doctor and yells over his shoulder as the doctor heads off down a hallway.)

Fenny:
Thanks Doc…just let me know if there is any change in his condition!

Cobalt:
What’s the word?

Fenny:
(Takes a seat beside Cobalt.) He’s dead.

Tony:
(lowers head) I just feel so bad.

Cobalt:
It could be the flu.

Sig:
(pats Cobalt tenderly on the hand.) Pretty girl.

Tony:
I just don’t understand how this could have happened. One moment he was standing there and the next…

Sig:
…You killed him with a limp-wristed swat to the head.

Tony:
I didn’t swat him. I hit him with the NY Times crossword puzzle. Which I do every Sunday morning. In pen.

Fenny:
I am usually recovering from a night of drinking and partying.

Sig:
I am usually sneaking out of the house of some one night stand. Crossword puzzles huh? Exciting. It is such a curse to be so handsome and virile. (reaches out and pats Tony on the arm) I envy you sometimes.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
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