25 Cinematic Cliches I Never Wanna See Again by Robin Bougie

25. That in period pieces, vintage cars are always freshly polished, painted, and clean. They never have scratches, dents or any signs of use.

24. Every time we’re introduced to a police precinct house, one or more colourfully dressed prostitutes are being brought in while bickering with their arresting officer.

23. Chinese food takeout in a movie always comes in those little white boxes, which I have never, in my life, seen chinese food arrive at my door in. I desperately want it to, but it never does.

22. If a bar or clubhouse has a pinball machine, it’s gonna get fucking trashed during a fight scene. (I’ve ALWAYS wanted my own pinball machine, so this one makes me wince)

21. That it’s only after the detective has been suspended (and obligatorily forced to place his badge and gun on the lieutenant’s desk) that he can properly crack the case.

20. That in war, only the enemy (usually the Viet Cong) were ever low-down enough to stoop to using booby traps.

19. People being chased by a car who run top speed down the middle of the street instead of simply ducking somewhere where a car can’t follow, which happens to be pretty much anywhere except the middle of the street.

18. Young gorgeous women constantly falling in love with men much, much older than they are. In other words: Fuck you Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood.

17. Chess players are always always brilliant, charming, upper class people, while card players are always sneaky, foul mouthed, and prone to cheating.

16. When an innocent cough is always a symptom of terminal illness.

15. Women that never have enough sense to keep running while being chased by an enemy unless a guy is pulling her along by her hand or wrist — despite the fact that this takes them far below the speed either one could go on their own.

14. That somehow singing in a moving vehicle always makes something terrible happen.

13. If someone dies with their eyes open, someone will close them by effortlessly moving their hand over the deceased face — and they will remain tightly shut.

12. If our protagonist goes to a sporting event, no matter who he is, his face will always end up on the fucking jumbotron.

11. Women that don’t sweat during sex.

10. That every helicopter shutting down emits the chirp-chirp-chirp sound, in spite of the fact that only the Bell 47G (the chopper on MASH) actually makes this noise.

9. If a hero is divorced (and most are), that he’ll have some contact with his ex-wife who will still have strong feelings for him even if she’s remarried.

8. All computer keyboards or control panels have thousands of volts just underneath their surface, and their malfunctions are indicated by a puff of smoke and a cartoonish shower of sparks.

7. That Native Americans invariably have mystical knowledge that can obtusely predict the future, or have a fundamental understanding of all things in nature .

6. That when a phone line is broken unexpectedly, someone will always frantically press the phone cradle button and yell “Hello? HELLO!?” with an emphasis on the second hello.

5. A splash of cold water in face will render the most inebriated person stone cold sober in a faction of a second. I’ve tried it. It doesn’t work.

4. When someone yells “You never backed away from everything in your life, now fight!!” while giving someone CPR or working to resuscitate a stopped heart.

3. Girls are always instantly attractive to every male if they take off their glasses and/or let down their hair, never mind that they were totally gorgeous actresses failing to physically portray a nerd in the first place.

2. Children or retards that are wise beyond their years/capabilities and that humble the adults around them.

aaaand: (Drumroll)

1. Dogs who always know who is evil, and bark at them.

Amy is a nurse sent from London to help transfer young patients out of Mercy Falls Children's Hospital, which is closing after a century of service. Immediately, Amy and the kids sense something dangerous in the air and, to protect them, she must face her fears and a nasty truth: The threat is far more sinister and dangerous than suspected; a terrifying evil has returned from the past. The only one key to the mystery is a little girl patient Maggie who knows about "Mechanical girl". Maggie says "Mechanical girl is in up stair".....

If you liked "Darkness" and "The Nameless", you won't be disappointed by "Fragile". You dislike them? Well, don't worry, "Fragile" is scary than them. :eek: "Fragile" is not a horror movie with bloody and gore, but it's really scary. Because it's painful. Yes, you'll feel pain. The movie's start is very slow but after 30 minutes or so, it comes fast and I assure you'll jump out of your seat a couple of times. It's feels like Japanese horror movies. So if you like "Ju-On" and "Ringu", you'll like also "Fragile". Actress, Calista Flockhart was awesome. I know, I know she was Ally McBeal, but believe it or not, her act is best in this movie ever. Alejandro Amenabar and Jaume Balaguero, they are best modern Spanish film makers. I'm looking forward to their next movies.

Hey gang, sorry I've been absent. A quick note:

Paul has done the inscriptions for Nightworld -- all will ship out by this Saturday. Thank you for your patience.

We got shorted on our shipment of the Keep Graphic Novel TPB and are waiting for more copies to come in next week, so we won't have signed copies of these for about 2 weeks. I greatly apologize about the delay on these. (If anyone wants to cancel their preorder, just drop me a line at [email protected]). Sometimes book distributors have a harder time getting copies of graphic novels. But we will have copies shortly and get them out to everyone. Thanks again to everyone for their patience.

These days, I was watching classic movies on DVD. "The Last Man on Earth" and "The Day of the Triffids".
"The Last Man on Earth" is original story "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson, and I liked both of book and movie. I think it's better tham "The Omega Man".
"The Day of the Triffids" is original story by John Wyndham. Both movies are very old but still they are good stuff. In "The Last Man on Earth", Vincent Price is a little bit old for Robert Neville, but his acting is pretty good.

But now, I found two classic films bad remade. I can't believe it.......Will Smith is Robert Neville?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480249/

The Incredible Shrinking Man: Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans? Oh, no!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249596/

Did anyone else catch this on SCiFi tonight? I really liked it! It was weird and strange and I loved it! I wouldn't want to live there. I think I'll watch it again next week and see if I want to continue to watch it. I haven't figured out Lo-Jack quite yet!

** SPOILERS **

Rereading some of Paul's excellent books, I found it interesting
how Rasalom seems to fall into the cliche mold of the Bond
arch-villain in one major way, yet gets away with it because
of Paul's excellent characterization.

WTF you ask?

The James Bond arch-villain always makes one major mistake
in every single movie, and that is, he/she will, at one or more
points in the movie, have Bond completely and utterly at their
mercy, and, instead of simply outright killing Bond with a gun
shot to the head or whatever, said villain will not only gloat
over Bond and spill his/her whole evil plan, but will leave Bond
tied up to die in some wildly imaginative manner in which we
the audience just know he will escape.

And thus we come to Rasalom gloating over the aged Glaeken,
instead of outright killing him (which would be the safe thing
to do, regardless of his "seeming" condition) when he finally
meets him after so many decades, and then leaving
him alive...and Rasalom's gloating over the exhausted form of
Jack down in Florida, and once again showing a complete lack
of foresight as to Jack's capabilities (and this after his realization
in Conspiracies, when first meeting Jack, that Jack had personally
destroyed all the Rakoshi).

One might surely come to the conclusion that Rasalom is the
biggest idiot on the planet, with one HELL of a sub-conscious
death wish.

But Paul covers his bet by making good old Rasalom a being
who feeds off of the intangible emotions of fear and despair,
and the opportunity to feed off of fallen Glaeken and a broken
Jack is just too overpowering a desire for the prince of evil to
ignore.

Mike

How is it this little foul mouthed gem of a film escaped the attention of this forum? It's hilarious. I'm not going to give any details and spoil it but it's due to be showing up on cable any time now. It stars Ryan Reynolds and Justin Long (the geeky kid from Dodgeball). Well worth seeing.

I found this kinda funny since I have had City of God sitting next to my TV since 6/23/06 and just can't seem to find the motivation to watch it.

Netflix Guilt

Was it just me or did the past season pretty much suck?

The season finale was horrible also.

I just never got into it. Everyone has become unlikeable, and they all bicker like a bunch of twelve year olds.

Rome was WAAAAYYYYYY better. That's my new fave HBO show.

Hey, Medusa, did you see this:

Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story