OK here goes - I feel a bit nervous having seen the quality of Dave's suggestion. I am sure Jack would find his way out of this - but here goes (be gentle!!!!!!!!!)
Dear Mr Tyleski
Except we both know that isn’t your real name, so I hope you won’t mind if I just call you Jack. I was sorry to hear of the death of your father, Jack, but I have to say that was a lovely send off you gave him down in Johnson and your choice of headstone was very tasteful. Incidentally Jack, nice family name, have you ever tried to trace it’s origins.
Anyway, Jack, to business. It appears I have been doing you a favor for some time, and now it is time you repaid the compliment.
I have a little problem with a wannabe politician who is spreading fear and hatred of the organized crime fraternity. He is even going so far as to suggest vigilantes should take up arms and take direct action. Now all of this is very bad for business, and I am therefore seeking a terminal solution to the activities of Mr Al Roams.
I understand you respect your privacy Jack, I am therefore sure you would not want certain government agencies to learn of our little agreement, or of your past. I could of course threaten Gia or the delightful Vicky, but that would be so crass.
I have placed a copy of my “Jack” file in a safe place, if anything should happen to me or if Mr Roams is not terminated by 1.00pm on Thursday your file will be passed to the relevant authorities.
I understand there are quite a few people keen to “entertain” you on the inside.
Should you carry out my favor, I will consider us even. But do please try to avoid any further parking tickets.
Yours sincerely
Mr V Donato
Ps That is a very nice car you drive Jack.
This post was last modified: 11-20-2006, 08:01 PM by Dave F.
The artist formally known as Britfan