jimbow8 Wrote:You are a quick AND EXCELLENT judge of character! :p
AsMoral Wrote:Jack answered the phone on the third ring.
Beside him on the couch Gia sits with her knees pulled to her chest gnawing nervously on her fingernail.
On the television screen the Creature from the Black Lagoon is seductively swimming below and parallel with the films female lead.
“Hello,” Jack says quietly into the phone.
“Put Gia on the phone,” the voice replies ominously, because it is more frightening that way.
“May I ask who…”
“It’s private, this is her number, her phone now kindly put her on.”
Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glanced at the handset before passing it off to Gia with a shrug. “For you.”
Gia glanced at her watch; she didn’t know who would be calling so late. “Hello,” she said.
“I believe we had a deal…we gave you the money under the condition we’d get it back.”
Gia’s skin blanched. In the glow of the flickering screen she seemed almost transparent.
“What is it?” Jack said noticing Gia’s change in demeanor.
On the phone the gentleman continued. “Did you think we wouldn’t find you?”
“It’s not that,” Gia tried to reply.
“Did you think that we didn’t have ways. You can’t escape us.”
“I didn’t mean…I had every intention…”
“Intentions don’t satisfy your debt.”
“I just don’t have the…” She glances at Jack and turns away, she hopes she can hide her shame from him.
“We have your number now, don’t try anything stupid. If you run we’ll find you. And don’t think you can get away with writing us off…that is impossible and will be a huge mistake.”
“I’ll try to get it to you, just don’t tell anyone about this…I never meant to let it go this long…”
“You have one week…” The line went dead.
Jack took the phone from the obviously shaken woman in his life. “Who was that?”
Gia shook her head, tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “No one Jack…not anything you can help me with.”
“How can you say that…I’m repairman Jack…I can fix anything.”
“No, this will put you in deeper, to a place so dark and desolate it will make the Otherness look like Sunday School.”
“I can help you Gia. I’ve helped you before. I’ll even do it for free this time.”
“Oh Jack, this is different.”
“Just tell me who it was Gia!” Jack raised his voice, he was scared seeing the woman he loved in such turmoil.
Gia lowered her head into her hands and cried out. “It was EdFinancial Jack! I’ve defaulted on my student loans!”
“Oh shit.” Jack sat silently for a moment. “You may be right…I don’t see anyway of getting out of this one.”
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Author's Note: The change in tense was deliberate, adding mystery and drama to the story. I can't believe this didn't win.
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WR.PARK Wrote:Jimbow8: Thank heavens for President Reagan--we could have used him these past six years.
NewYorkjoe Wrote:The suspense builds, the sinister atmosphere thickens, then you pull the rug out! IN-freakin'-CREDIBLE!
Lisa Wrote:SNAFU = Situation Normal All Fouled (or F*cked) Up
NewYorkjoe Wrote:Too bad, jimbow8 probably thought he had found his soul mate and here you've dashed his hopes with a single sentence, non sequitur though it may be.