jimbow8 Wrote:You are a quick AND EXCELLENT judge of character! :p
I consider the source of this comment, and discount, accordingly.
Jack answered the phone on the third ring.
Beside him on the couch Gia sits with her knees pulled to her chest gnawing nervously on her fingernail.
On the television screen the Creature from the Black Lagoon is seductively swimming below and parallel with the films female lead.
“Hello,” Jack says quietly into the phone.
“Put Gia on the phone,” the voice replies ominously, because it is more frightening that way.
“May I ask who…”
“It’s private, this is her number, her phone now kindly put her on.”
Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glanced at the handset before passing it off to Gia with a shrug. “For you.”
Gia glanced at her watch; she didn’t know who would be calling so late. “Hello,” she said.
“I believe we had a deal…we gave you the money under the condition we’d get it back.”
Gia’s skin blanched. In the glow of the flickering screen she seemed almost transparent.
“What is it?” Jack said noticing Gia’s change in demeanor.
On the phone the gentleman continued. “Did you think we wouldn’t find you?”
“It’s not that,” Gia tried to reply.
“Did you think that we didn’t have ways. You can’t escape us.”
“I didn’t mean…I had every intention…”
“Intentions don’t satisfy your debt.”
“I just don’t have the…” She glances at Jack and turns away, she hopes she can hide her shame from him.
“We have your number now, don’t try anything stupid. If you run we’ll find you. And don’t think you can get away with writing us off…that is impossible and will be a huge mistake.”
“I’ll try to get it to you, just don’t tell anyone about this…I never meant to let it go this long…”
“You have one week…” The line went dead.
Jack took the phone from the obviously shaken woman in his life. “Who was that?”
Gia shook her head, tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “No one Jack…not anything you can help me with.”
“How can you say that…I’m repairman Jack…I can fix anything.”
“No, this will put you in deeper, to a place so dark and desolate it will make the Otherness look like Sunday School.”
“I can help you Gia. I’ve helped you before. I’ll even do it for free this time.”
“Oh Jack, this is different.”
“Just tell me who it was Gia!” Jack raised his voice, he was scared seeing the woman he loved in such turmoil.
Gia lowered her head into her hands and cried out. “It was EdFinancial Jack! I’ve defaulted on my student loans!”
“Oh shit.” Jack sat silently for a moment. “You may be right…I don’t see anyway of getting out of this one.”
_____________________________________________
Author's Note: The change in tense was deliberate, adding mystery and drama to the story. I can't believe this didn't win.
______________________________________________
Beside him on the couch Gia sits with her knees pulled to her chest gnawing nervously on her fingernail.
On the television screen the Creature from the Black Lagoon is seductively swimming below and parallel with the films female lead.
“Hello,” Jack says quietly into the phone.
“Put Gia on the phone,” the voice replies ominously, because it is more frightening that way.
“May I ask who…”
“It’s private, this is her number, her phone now kindly put her on.”
Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glanced at the handset before passing it off to Gia with a shrug. “For you.”
Gia glanced at her watch; she didn’t know who would be calling so late. “Hello,” she said.
“I believe we had a deal…we gave you the money under the condition we’d get it back.”
Gia’s skin blanched. In the glow of the flickering screen she seemed almost transparent.
“What is it?” Jack said noticing Gia’s change in demeanor.
On the phone the gentleman continued. “Did you think we wouldn’t find you?”
“It’s not that,” Gia tried to reply.
“Did you think that we didn’t have ways. You can’t escape us.”
“I didn’t mean…I had every intention…”
“Intentions don’t satisfy your debt.”
“I just don’t have the…” She glances at Jack and turns away, she hopes she can hide her shame from him.
“We have your number now, don’t try anything stupid. If you run we’ll find you. And don’t think you can get away with writing us off…that is impossible and will be a huge mistake.”
“I’ll try to get it to you, just don’t tell anyone about this…I never meant to let it go this long…”
“You have one week…” The line went dead.
Jack took the phone from the obviously shaken woman in his life. “Who was that?”
Gia shook her head, tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “No one Jack…not anything you can help me with.”
“How can you say that…I’m repairman Jack…I can fix anything.”
“No, this will put you in deeper, to a place so dark and desolate it will make the Otherness look like Sunday School.”
“I can help you Gia. I’ve helped you before. I’ll even do it for free this time.”
“Oh Jack, this is different.”
“Just tell me who it was Gia!” Jack raised his voice, he was scared seeing the woman he loved in such turmoil.
Gia lowered her head into her hands and cried out. “It was EdFinancial Jack! I’ve defaulted on my student loans!”
“Oh shit.” Jack sat silently for a moment. “You may be right…I don’t see anyway of getting out of this one.”
_____________________________________________
Author's Note: The change in tense was deliberate, adding mystery and drama to the story. I can't believe this didn't win.
______________________________________________
This post was last modified: 11-20-2006, 07:02 PM by Tony H.
“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
AsMoral Wrote:Jack answered the phone on the third ring.
Beside him on the couch Gia sits with her knees pulled to her chest gnawing nervously on her fingernail.
On the television screen the Creature from the Black Lagoon is seductively swimming below and parallel with the films female lead.
“Hello,” Jack says quietly into the phone.
“Put Gia on the phone,” the voice replies ominously, because it is more frightening that way.
“May I ask who…”
“It’s private, this is her number, her phone now kindly put her on.”
Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glanced at the handset before passing it off to Gia with a shrug. “For you.”
Gia glanced at her watch; she didn’t know who would be calling so late. “Hello,” she said.
“I believe we had a deal…we gave you the money under the condition we’d get it back.”
Gia’s skin blanched. In the glow of the flickering screen she seemed almost transparent.
“What is it?” Jack said noticing Gia’s change in demeanor.
On the phone the gentleman continued. “Did you think we wouldn’t find you?”
“It’s not that,” Gia tried to reply.
“Did you think that we didn’t have ways. You can’t escape us.”
“I didn’t mean…I had every intention…”
“Intentions don’t satisfy your debt.”
“I just don’t have the…” She glances at Jack and turns away, she hopes she can hide her shame from him.
“We have your number now, don’t try anything stupid. If you run we’ll find you. And don’t think you can get away with writing us off…that is impossible and will be a huge mistake.”
“I’ll try to get it to you, just don’t tell anyone about this…I never meant to let it go this long…”
“You have one week…” The line went dead.
Jack took the phone from the obviously shaken woman in his life. “Who was that?”
Gia shook her head, tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “No one Jack…not anything you can help me with.”
“How can you say that…I’m repairman Jack…I can fix anything.”
“No, this will put you in deeper, to a place so dark and desolate it will make the Otherness look like Sunday School.”
“I can help you Gia. I’ve helped you before. I’ll even do it for free this time.”
“Oh Jack, this is different.”
“Just tell me who it was Gia!” Jack raised his voice, he was scared seeing the woman he loved in such turmoil.
Gia lowered her head into her hands and cried out. “It was EdFinancial Jack! I’ve defaulted on my student loans!”
“Oh shit.” Jack sat silently for a moment. “You may be right…I don’t see anyway of getting out of this one.”
_____________________________________________
Author's Note: The change in tense was deliberate, adding mystery and drama to the story. I can't believe this didn't win.
______________________________________________
The suspense builds, the sinister atmosphere thickens, then you pull the rug out! IN-freakin'-CREDIBLE!
WR.PARK Wrote:Jimbow8: Thank heavens for President Reagan--we could have used him these past six years.
Too bad, jimbow8 probably thought he had found his soul mate and here you've dashed his hopes with a single sentence, non sequitur though it may be.
NewYorkjoe Wrote:The suspense builds, the sinister atmosphere thickens, then you pull the rug out! IN-freakin'-CREDIBLE!
Loved it, my partner is a telephone collector for a major international bank in a domestic loans department
I'd hate to think she induces that level of fear in her customers
The artist formally known as Britfan
Lisa Wrote:SNAFU = Situation Normal All Fouled (or F*cked) Up
Here's what looks like the origin of SNAFU:
http://www.snafu.com/Snafu/SnafuStory.html
From the story:
[COLOR="Navy"]Example: original "clear text" message.
General Bootlikker requires more artillery support.
After being scrambled or converted, it would then be
transmitted in five letter groups..
CSIAM OTILA IHTDA SNAFU DWXBR POOPO
At the end of the day and a delicious military meal, Don and John would sit in their spacious five man tent and, having nothing better to do, would sit and convert all the messages they had received back into intelligible words. In the process they would make a game of creating sentences out of the meaningless coded groups.
CSIAM.... = (Colonel Smith is a moron)
OTILA.... = (Our tent is leaking again)
IHTDA.... = (I hate the damn army)
SNAFU.... = (Situation normal, all f----- up) [/COLOR]
Eventually, others came up with additional acronyms pertaining to the original SNAFU:
FUBAR . . . "Fouled" Up Beyond All Recognition.
SAPFU . . . Surpassing All Previous *******
Ken V.
Thanks for the other "RJ Dilema" entries, folks! I'm loving reading them!
Dave: Wonderful! Very RJ like ending.
BritFan: Very fun! I liked the insiders use of Mr Al Roams and Mr Donato.
AsMoral: Damn funny! I knew it was going somewhere like that, but great clincher!
Keep them coming! I didn't enter one or I'd have posted it - you're all more clever than I!
-MarcC
Dave: Wonderful! Very RJ like ending.
BritFan: Very fun! I liked the insiders use of Mr Al Roams and Mr Donato.
AsMoral: Damn funny! I knew it was going somewhere like that, but great clincher!
Keep them coming! I didn't enter one or I'd have posted it - you're all more clever than I!
-MarcC
NYJ: I've visited West Virginia numerous times throughout my career and have always enjoyed the association and company of all those I've met--and up until now had always believed the hillbilly sterotype alleged by social-bigots to be unfair and untrue. But after reading your pompous rhetoric--in your case I'd make an exception.
NewYorkjoe Wrote:Too bad, jimbow8 probably thought he had found his soul mate and here you've dashed his hopes with a single sentence, non sequitur though it may be.
But he's found his ying in you.:p