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bones weep tedium   12-16-2008, 06:49 PM
#21
LolaRennt Wrote:The newest contributions aren't even attempting to maintain the same personalities or story line...

Maybe they're from a different episode...? :confused:


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
Brian   12-16-2008, 06:58 PM
#22
bones weep tedium Wrote:Don't be daft! Big Grin Can't anyone have a muck about without being judged anymore? It's either a crush or big time hate ---- it can't be both! Confusedquigglemouth:

The hate is my opinion. Go muck someplace else. Why ruin the fun?

There is no wise man without fault
Tony H   12-16-2008, 09:17 PM
#23
Are we supposed to hate Bones? I didn't get the memo. Of course I don't hate anyone...a big bundle of love is what I am. Oh...the amish...I hate the Amish. And after watching Parking Wars i hate the PPA and I don't even live anywhere near Philly.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Brian   12-16-2008, 09:44 PM
#24
AsMoral Wrote:Are we supposed to hate Bones? I didn't get the memo. Of course I don't hate anyone...a big bundle of love is what I am. Oh...the amish...I hate the Amish. And after watching Parking Wars i hate the PPA and I don't even live anywhere near Philly.

Actually, I said the dude has a serious case of the hates in another thread. I have this tendency to piss people off easily. Big Grin Comes with the job it seems and with being the newbie.

There is no wise man without fault
KRW   12-17-2008, 01:06 AM
#25
Brian Wrote:Actually, I said the dude has a serious case of the hates in another thread. I have this tendency to piss people off easily. Big Grin Comes with the job it seems and with being the newbie.

I like Bones. His dry wit and British humour are not always easily recognizable, but are always entertaining. Maybe he grows on ya?:confused:
Legion   12-17-2008, 03:18 AM
#26
AsMoral Wrote:Are we supposed to hate Bones? I didn't get the memo. Of course I don't hate anyone...a big bundle of love is what I am. Oh...the amish...I hate the Amish. And after watching Parking Wars i hate the PPA and I don't even live anywhere near Philly.

You don't know the half of it. I just got a letter saying my Concealed Carry Permit is on hold, as I have outstanding tickets...

I DON'T!
Tina got a couple of tickets a month back, but all are paid in full and my account has a zero balance!

How they could affect my CCP status is beyond me, even if they were outstanding.

I am LIVID right now.

[Image: hope.jpg]

Guns Don't Kill People, ATF Agents Do!
bones weep tedium   12-17-2008, 06:59 AM
#27
Brian Wrote:The hate is my opinion. Go muck someplace else. Why ruin the fun?

:prrr:

....speak for yourself.... spoil sport...... picking on me.......


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
Tony H   12-17-2008, 01:06 PM
#28
Tony:
(Opens the door and sees a man with his face all lopsided standing at the door.)
Hello…you must be Steven Harris from Slant Olaf. SAINT!!!! Saint Olaf….(laughs nervously) It’s nice to meet you.

Fenny:
(Rushes to the door and pushes Tony out of the way.)
Hello Steven, welcome to Miami. You’ll have to forgive Tony…They don’t have manners in the merry old land of Oz.

Steven/Tabbi:
HELLO COUSIN COBALT!!!! (Embraces Fenny)

Fenny:
Oh…no no no…Cobalt is over there. (Points to Cobalt)

Steven:
OF COURSE!!!!!

Sig:
Why is he yelling?

Cobalt:
He can’t hear…when he was eleven he was kicked in the head by a mule.

Sig:
What an unfortunate accident.

Cobalt:
It wasn’t an accident Sig…he had a stubborn molar that needed to come out. (walks over to cousin Steve and hugs him.) Look at …(Looks at a red stain on her shoulder where Steve’s face rested during the hug.)…Eyew.

Steve:
HELLO COUSIN COBALT!!!

Cobalt:
I want to introduce you to my roommates and my best friends. This is Sig and Fenny…they are top secret agents for a top secret agency call the CSA…the Civil Security Administration. The headquarters is located in Virginia but their local branch is loca…

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-17-2008, 01:06 PM
#29
Sig:
(Interrupts) How bout’cha!!! (Looks around nervously) Top…yeah…secret agency.

Cobalt:
And of course this is Tony.
Tony:
Nice to meet you again.

Cobalt:
Tony! You didn’t tell me you two already met before! Wow!

Tony:
No…you airhead…I meant…once again, it’s nice to meet you.

Cobalt:
Tony (laughs), it’s me you silly…we live together.

Tony:
(Throws hands in the air in frustration.) NOT YOU!!! (looks at the others in the room)I wanted a dog but nooooo…you wanted a roommate!

SCENE TRANSITION

INT. KITCHEN
The group is seated around the table eating cheesecake. Steve has a photo album out and is passing it around the table. Alexander is seated at the table between Sig and Fenny and is nibbling on his own slice of cheesecake.

Steve:
AND THIS IS A PICTURE OF MY WIFE HELGA LUFTENPFELLFER!!!!

Tony:
(Takes picture from Steve and looks at it.) Oh look at her….she’s… I think it’s commendable that in this day and age where Hollywood defines what is beautiful that you were brave enough to stray from conformity.

Alexander:
Squeak, whine, squeak grrrrrrrrrr

Sig:
(does a spit take while sipping coffee)

Fenny:
What? What did he say.

Sig:
(waves hand dismissively) Something about tony being either a pot or a kettle.
Cobalt:
So cousin Steve. Do you have any kids?

Steve:
YES!!!!! I HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!

Cobalt:
That is awesome! Three kids…wow! You and the misses sure are busy.

Steve:
NO COUSIN COBALT WE HAVE FOUR KIDS TOTAL!!! ONLY THREE OF THEM ARE BEAUTIFUL! THAT FOURTH ONE…NOT SO MUCH!!!! (Hands cobalt a picture)

Cobalt:
Wow…he’s so young to have that much facial hair.

Steve:
THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!

Fenny:
(Takes the picture from Cobalt) I can find beauty in the most unfortunate of creatures. (Looks at the picture) For example…That tooth really brings out the blue in her…<pauses>…eye.

Tony:
(takes the picture from Fenny) It’s nice to see that your child alone is keeping the monocle industry in business. Well, her and Mr. peanut.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Tony H   12-17-2008, 02:17 PM
#30
(The collar on Alexander beeps and a red light attached to the collar begins to flash)

Alexander:
SQUEAK!!!

Sig:
Got to go

Fenny:
Right behind you.

(Sig and Fenny excuse themselves from the table)

Steve:
WHAT WAS THAT!!!?
Tony:
You’ll have to excuse them , but they’re OTTER HERE! (slams fist on table) Oh, I kill me.

Steve:
WHY DENY SOMEONE ELSE THE PLEASURE!!!!?

Tony:
(Glares at Steve) You don’t know me like that.

SCENE IV

(Sig and Fenny follow Alexander down the hall to a door at the far end. The door slides up with a sci-fi woosh sound exposing a dark room full of computer screens blinking with the word “INCOMMING ALERT”)

Fenny:
Go for Alpha Force

(The screen flutters and suddenly a shadowy figure is on display. It’s Q/M, leader of the Civil Security Agency)

Q/M:
(his voice is disguised by an electronic voice scrambling box) Luke….I AM YOUR FA…(realizes his call has been connected and he is live with the boys)…There you are. (regains composure.)

Sig:
We got the alert sir…this is a secure channel…go ‘head.

Q/M:
Intelligence confirms that Tabbi Katz is in the Miami area and in dangerous proximity. A call to 911 from a Steve Harris from Saint Olaf, Minnesota on his way to Miami reports that his face was stolen and that a madman is posing as him at a family home at these coordinates. (coordinates flash across the screen.)

Fenny:
No need for coordinates, we know exactly where he is.

Q/M:
Authorization has been granted for a cock for the both of you. Alexander too.

Alexander:
SQUEAK!

Sig:
(looks around the room.) Sir, Tony isn’t on the force.

Q/M:
No..a cock..K-O-C. Kill on Contact.

Fenny:
We have really got to work on these acronyms.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
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