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bones weep tedium   12-16-2008, 08:08 AM
#11
SCENE VII

INT.SIGOKAT'S BEDROOM

SIGOKAT sits on the end of his bed, rubbing his leg and crying. COBALT walks in carrying a plate of biscuits.

COBALT: Hey, Sig, what's up?

SIGOKAT: I hurt my leg.

COBALT: Oh, man! You want a biscuit?

SIGOKAT: Go away.

COBALT: OK.


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
bones weep tedium   12-16-2008, 10:54 AM
#12
This thread is awesome fun! I hope you like my latest sketch.....! Wink Come on, I want to read more!



INT. DINING ROOM. DAY

TONY, FENNY and COBALT are all sat around the dining table enjoying a delicious bowl of cheese and celery stew.

COBALT (mouth full, munching stew): Isn't this delicious?

TONY: You bet!

FENNY: My eyes are tired.

COBALT: After we finish our lunch, we should go outside and play with Siggy!

TONY: Hell yeah!

FENNY: I'm tired, be quiet!

COBALT: Oh Fenny, you worthless boring old idiot.

FENNY: Who said that? Who turned out the light? Why am I so boring?

As the group of chums are about to finish their meal, FENNY vomits cheese and celery stew back into the bowl, nearly filling it back up in a matter of moments.

TONY: Jesus!!

COBALT: Gross!!

TONY: If I wasn't finished before, I am now! That sick stinks!

Fenny mutters incomprehensibly, bubbles of sick forming on his lips.

TONY: What did you say, Fenny?

FENNY: I'm sorry I was sick.

Tony and Cobalt share a look, then burst out laughing. They pick up Fenny, each taking a shoulder. They slowly start to lead Fenny out of the Dining Room and into the kitchen.

TONY: That's ok, man.

COBALT: We know you are very old and very sick, Fenny. Don't worry about the mess. We'll just leave it for someone else to clear up!

FENNY: You're both very kind. Thank you.

COBALT: Don't mention it.

INT. KITCHEN. DAY

At the sink, COBALT takes FENNY's weight as TONY puts the plug in the sink and opens both the taps up.

FENNY: I.... I love you guys.

TONY: Hush now, you're nearly there.

Tony turns off the taps, and both TONY and COBALT plunge FENNY's head under the water and hold it there.

FENNY bucks and kicks out, but his tired weak old body is too feeble to resist. The kicks and twists slowly fade away to nothing; his body slumps.

SIGOKAT enters from the garden, and DROPS his toy aeroplane when he sees the lifeless, sodded body of FENNY laid out on the kitchen floor.

SIGOKAT: What you doing to my boy?

TONY: Shut up, Siggy!

SIGOKAT: What have you done to him!

SIGOKAT looms over TONY and COBALT, SHAKING with RAGE.

COBALT: Sigokat--

SIGOKAT: You just wait....

TONY: Sigokat, listen man--

SIGOKAT: I'll show you two.....

COBALT: SIG, YOUR DINNER'S READY!

SIGOKAT: What happens when you..... what is it?

COBALT: Cheese and celery stew!

SIGOKAT: Alright, my favourite!

Sigokat bounds out of the room, chuckling and chortling with every step.

SIGOKAT (O.S.): Yummy! A whole bowl just for me! Wheee!

Tony and Cobalt can't bring themselves to look as they hear SIGOKAT'S SPOON hitting the bottom of the bowl and Sigokat's exagerrated, animal-like slurping coming from the next room.

SIGOKAT (O.S.): Oh, boy! This tastes delicious!


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
Fenian1916   12-16-2008, 01:04 PM
#13
Yawn

[SIZE=2]"There are many things more horrible than bloodshed; and slavery is one of them."
Padraig Pearse[/SIZE]
Tony H   12-16-2008, 01:49 PM
#14
bones weep tedium Wrote:This thread is awesome fun! I hope you like my latest sketch.....! Wink Come on, I want to read more!

Wow, you took something as precious as The Golden Girls and turned it into a vomit eating spectacle!!! (shakes head in disappointment) I had higher expectations from the Brits.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
bones weep tedium   12-16-2008, 02:15 PM
#15
AsMoral Wrote:Wow, you took something as precious as The Golden Girls and turned it into a vomit eating spectacle!!! (shakes head in disappointment) I had higher expectations from the Brits.

Big Grin

Mr Creosote is one of my all time favourite comedy sketches Wink


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
cobalt   12-16-2008, 03:01 PM
#16
bones weep tedium Wrote:Big Grin

Mr Creosote is one of my all time favourite comedy sketches Wink
Mine as well, but you get the buckets Bones. The one stepped in and the newer.

Fix it.

EWMAN
Tony H   12-16-2008, 03:17 PM
#17
bones weep tedium Wrote:Big Grin

Mr Creosote is one of my all time favourite comedy sketches Wink

I forgot about that. I have to admit...Monty Python just doesn't do it for me. But, the Holy Grail still ranks as one of my favorite films. The Flying Circus stuff was too stream of consciousness for my taste.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.”
Certified 100% Serious
Brian   12-16-2008, 06:30 PM
#18
AsMoral Wrote:Wow, you took something as precious as The Golden Girls and turned it into a vomit eating spectacle!!! (shakes head in disappointment) I had higher expectations from the Brits.

I couldn't agree more. This person harbors some big time hate, doesn't he? :nonod:

There is no wise man without fault
bones weep tedium   12-16-2008, 06:44 PM
#19
Brian Wrote:I couldn't agree more. This person harbors some big time hate, doesn't he? :nonod:

Don't be daft! Big Grin Can't anyone have a muck about without being judged anymore? It's either a crush or big time hate ---- it can't be both! Confusedquigglemouth:


I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."

I hate coppers.

[Image: smile-test.gif]"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."
LolaRennt   12-16-2008, 06:45 PM
#20
The newest contributions aren't even attempting to maintain the same personalities or story line...

Why do I always do this to myself???
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