OMG, that sounds like homework ... for a GU! That's way too much work for what is essentially a party. Knock yourselves out, though, if you want. I don't bring homework on my vacations.

silly thing, you don't write them at GU they all get done before hand and everyone takes a copy home

silly thing, you don't write them at GU they all get done before hand and everyone takes a copy home

Indeed, nothing remotely resembling work would get done at a GU.

Indeed, nothing remotely resembling work would get done at a GU.

But maybe fun riffing?

hmm, maybe a fanfic thread comprised entirely of 'sidekick' stories- written by us sidekicks.
could be fun to pub a few dozen copies for ourselves for GU.

I'd like to see more on Abe, Jack ain't the only guy keeping him in business.

I'm ready:

"The Abe Ruth Story"? No.
"Field Of Abes". Maybe
"An Abe of Their Own"? Nah.

Wait, I got it:

"Abe's In the Outfield".

In a moment of weakness Abe agrees to sponser a local baseball team of 9 year olds from a local orphanage. He supplies them with uniforms that read "Abe's Sporting Goods". Their coach mysteriously disappears and Abe is talked into leading the team while their coach is missing. Hilarity ensues.

One week is enough for Abe (channeling Walter Mattheau and Tom 'There's no crying in baseball' Hanks) and he hires Jack to find the missing coach. Jack finds him drunk at Julio's, unable and unwilling to return to coaching the unmanagable rug rats. But instead of convincing the coach to return Jack decides to hold off, thinking it may do Abe some good to get out and do something productive, maybe even get a little exercise.

Besides, Jack is having too much fun watching Abe flail about trying to coach the team. Jack, Gia, Vicky and Parabellum set up shop at their games and cheer them on. At one point the team's futility is too much and Jack is unable to hide his shit eating grin. Gia immediately realizes Jack's motives lie more in his own entertainment rather than seeing Abe help out the struggling tykes. Under threat of no sex, she convinces Jack to persuade the other coach to return.

With the help of a few $ Jack finally convinces the coach to come back. Jack brings the "newly found" coach to their next practice but in a stunning twist, Abe has developed a conscience and wishes to see this through. Besides, he's grown a bit fond of the little hellions.

The team shows improvement over the next two games and qualifies as the last team to make the playoffs. Against impossible odds, Abe coaches the team to the finals. In a miracle worthy of the 1980 US Hockey Team, "The Abes" win it all in the 9th inning against their heavily favored opponents.

A happy ending for all.


Shocking Alternate Ending:

Sick and tired of losing and down 10-0, Abe supplies the team with an assortment of firepower and instructs his team to mow down their opposition, coached by Richard Oramlas. A bloodbath ensues as the team displays a true talent for murder and mayhem. As his team lies dead and dying an angered Coach Rich Oramlas reveals his true self, that of no other than Rasalom. Deprived of his impending victory and Abe and Jack's crushing and misery filled defeat Rasalom opens a hole in the earth and hundreds of chewwasps usher forth from the gateway to the otherness. Suddenly, three ladies varying in age appear from the crowded bleachers, dogs in tow. Not yet at full power, Rasalom is forced into closing the gateway and retreating back from whence he came. "Curses, foiled again" he is heard to mutter as he disappears.

Jack takes the entire team to Julio's for beer and hot dogs.

A happy ending for all.

OK, that was freaking funny.

Add me to the list of people who would love to read the background stories of some of our favorite sidekick characters.

Add me to the list of people who would love to read the background stories of some of our favorite sidekick characters.

[SIZE="3"]I think a 30-something guy named Abe might -- just might -- wander through on of the YA Jack novels.[/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"]I think a 30-something guy named Abe might -- just might -- wander through on of the YA Jack novels.[/SIZE]

Would he have a pet egg?!

[SIZE="3"]I think a 30-something guy named Abe might -- just might -- wander through on of the YA Jack novels.[/SIZE]

That will be neat!

Would he have a pet egg?!

I can't believe no one has LOL'ed to this excellent joke.

So here it is ----



LOL

BRAVO!!!! BRAVOOOOO!!!!!
Thankyou all for posting comments! Everyone has put in some great input. Everyone take a bow.
Buttt.........
How about some input from the man himself...???? Cmon Paul...Can't you get the man-the great god of cake-Abe Grossman himself to bestow some words of wisdom on us-his most devoted of fans??? Even his little buddy can give us the bird!
And let's not forget those two high flying JD guzzling stoners who answer to the name of Ashe!!! We don't want them to get their feelings hurt (why the unthinkable might happend-they might decide to only appear in Jackie Collins novels!).