I knew I had it somewhere. (Someone -- Dave Schow? -- sent me this years ago.)

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

Here's a bunch more: http://www.moviecliches.com/

I saw a cliche on Alias last week that had me rolling my eyes. The bad guy had nowhere to run except off the side of a building. However, there was a garbage truck parked precisely below him so he could jump on the nice, soft bags and break his fall. Even though it didn't happen like this on Alias, the garbage truck usually drives away with the guy on it.

Oy!

Susan

Here's a bunch more: http://www.moviecliches.com/

I saw a cliche on Alias last week that had me rolling my eyes. The bad guy had nowhere to run except off the side of a building. However, there was a garbage truck parked precisely below him so he could jump on the nice, soft bags and break his fall. Even though it didn't happen like this on Alias, the garbage truck usually drives away with the guy on it.

Oy!

Susan

That's like when Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man jump from the top of a hotel (about 20 stories) into a swimming pool.


KRW

Anybody else have some?

When heavily-armed, battle-tested villians empty clip-after-clip at their intended target but only manage to pock the turf. I've never even held a machine gun, but am confident I could do better.

I knew I had it somewhere. (Someone -- Dave Schow? -- sent me this years ago.)

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in them either.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

If a room contains a large fish tank, it will be smashed soon.

The Chief of Police is always black.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

Let's not forget:
Loathesome Invading Aliens have no problem at all with our atmosphere or gravity, and could care less about the Terran viruses that =just might= put hurt on them. (Clearly, THE WAR OF THE WORLDS wasn't on their reading list.)

Can porno's apply to this because I can think of a few problems with their story lines. Then again, they're supposed to be fantasy, huh.


KRW

It could also be considered a form of torture.

Watching David Caruso act makes me want to staple my eyes shut and fill my ears with molten steel.
(botched attempt at using quotes from two posters)

That's acting? I thought acting took emotion.

It's not David Caruso's fault. He is suffering from "Miami TV PD Lieutenant Syndrome." Edward James Olmos had it when he was Lt. Castillo on Miami Vice.

k the e

It could also be considered a form of torture.

Watching David Caruso act makes me want to staple my eyes shut and fill my ears with molten steel.
(botched attempt at using quotes from two posters)



It's not David Caruso's fault. He is suffering from "Miami TV PD Lieutenant Syndrome." Edward James Olmos had it when he was Lt. Castillo on Miami Vice.

k the e

I agree, but please don't hurt yourself, Keith. I learned the hard way to leave that to professionals. Even if it's Caruso acting and you don't think you can bear waiting another second...

... He is suffering from "Miami TV PD Lieutenant Syndrome." Edward James Olmos had it when he was Lt. Castillo on Miami Vice.

k the e

Olmos has had it ever since. I cannot bear to watch him.

Anybody else have some?

How 'bout heart-of-gold hookers or cars that flip when they crash into a parked vehicle?

How 'bout heart-of-gold hookers or cars that flip when they crash into a parked vehicle?

Or explode upon impact!

Here's another one: The bad guys, all heavily armed with fully automatic weapons and thousands of rounds of ammo, and all former government spooks or spec OPS people, spray lead all over the place, breaking everything in sight but narrowly missing our heroes, only to be taken out by a shard of broken glass, a ballpoint pen, or a nail gun (think Lethal Weapon 3 or 4).