Blake
09-06-2004, 10:00 PM
Being There
The "reveal" at the end, which I think should prompt all kinds of fun discussion after a viewing. (I won't mention what happens here for those of you who haven't seen it.)
Sleeper
"I'm what you would call a teleological, existential atheist. I believe that there's an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey."
"I think we should have had sex, but there weren't enough people."
The scene where they're watching Howard Cosell and explaining to Woody Allen that they think criminals in the 20th century "were forced to watch this."
The scene where the 22nd century scientists are explaining that substances like hot fudge are now known to be the healthiest thing for you. "It's tobacco. It's the healthiest thing for your body."
The scene where they find a 200-year-old Volkswagen bug that starts right up. "They really built these things."
The Pink Panther movies
Well, the '70s ones, anyway. I would include any and all fights between Inspector Clouseau and Kato.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I'm feeling better." "No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment."
"I fart in your general direction!"
"What, behind the rabbit?" "It is the rabbit!"
"Look, let me go back in there and face the peril." "No, it's too perilous."
"Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left." "Yes I have." "Look." "Just a flesh wound."
"Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you."
"Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
The whole sequence with the bridge keeper.
The weighing of the "witch". "If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood."
Game of Death
Okay, in some ways this movie sickens me. It was such an obvious grab for money by capitalizing on what little footage Bruce Lee had for Game of Death, which also had a radically different story than what finally ended up on the screen. Having said that, the big fight between Lee (yes, that really is him in that scene) and Kareem Abdul Jabbar is great fun. Suggestion: Pick up the new special edition DVD of Enter the Dragon. In its bonus materials is the uncut Game of Death footage before it was edited down to fit the "plot" of the moronic piece of trash that was released in 1978. Lee's version was clearly going to be something very different and had a lot more humor.
Return of the Dragon, aka Way of the Dragon
The fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris!
Enter the Dragon
The tournament fight with Oharra.
The underground fight with the guards.
M*A*S*H
"I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps." "He was drafted."
"This isn't a hospital! It's an insane asylum! And it's your fault!"
"Colonel, fair's fair. If I punch Hawkeye and nail Hot-Lips, can I go home, too?"
"No. No booze. Sex. I want sex. That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Bring her to me. Take her clothes off and bring her to me."
"Did Hawkeye steal that jeep?" "No, sir, that's the one he came in."
"I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf."
"How do you want your steak cooked?"
"Attention, all base members must report for a drug test for marij- marijua-... disregard last transmission."
Jaws
Already deservedly mentioned, and I definitely concur on the Indianapolis scene! I'll add the climax: "Smile, you son of a bitch!" (The latest video releases have the "bitch" edited out. It didn't used to be that way, did it?)
Dirty Harry
Am I wrong that this scene hasn't made it onto this list yet? "I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"
Blazing Saddles
"If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."
The toll booth sequence.
"Excuse me while I whip this out."
Bart holding his own gun to his head: "Nobody moves or the nigger gets it."
"Hey, where the white women at?"
The campfire/beans scene. (Okay, it's crude, but it sends me into hysterics just about every time I watch it.)
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."
"All right, we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks, but we DON'T WANT THE IRISH." (I've always felt that Blazing Saddles is one of the most scathing commentaries on racism there is. That line illustrates how stupid and arbitrary such thoughts really are. And in today's "P. C." climate, I bet Mel Brooks might have a harder time getting it made than he did then!)
History of the World Part I
Gregory Hines walks by an old blind man with a sign around his neck that read "Oedipus" and says, "Hey, motherfucker."
"All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?" "FUCK THE POOR!"
Star Wars
Well, pretty much the whole movie. And isn't it amazing how believable Alec Guinness made that dialogue?
Blake