HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was Nobody Available!"
I love it!
Ken V.
NUTS! I posted this on the wrong forum . . . should have been "Off Topic Discussion." Ah, well.
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was Nobody Available!"
I love it!
Ken V.
NUTS! I posted this on the wrong forum . . . should have been "Off Topic Discussion." Ah, well.
This post was last modified: 01-08-2007, 12:58 AM by Ken Valentine.
Ken Valentine Wrote:One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was Nobody Available!"
I love it!
Ken V.
Ken, you just made my day!
Hazel Stone
(A true, blue Fan)
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. RAH
That really is funny... in a sick sort of way. And according to Snopes.com (the internet myth-busters), it is indeed a true story.
.
It's Thirteen O'Clock
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"I said, Hey Senorita - that's astute, I said, why don't we get together and call ourselves an institute?" --Paul Simon
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"In the final analysis, the last line of defense in support of freedom and the Constitution consists of the people themselves." -- Ron Paul
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Ken Valentine Wrote:HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was Nobody Available!"
I love it!
Ken V.
NUTS! I posted this on the wrong forum . . . should have been "Off Topic Discussion." Ah, well.
That's great. Must say, though, that the coppers in NYC come pretty quick when called. And sometimes even when they're not. 10 years ago, maybe, a Friday morning, off from work, sitting in my kitchen with a cup of coffee and pondering life. The buzzer started ringing without a stop. I buzzed back wondering who it could be. Went to the stairs outside the apartment to see. 2 Cops. "Can I help you, officers?" sez I. "Did you, or someone in apt. 11, just call 911?" sez they. I kept my wise trap under control and answered, "Why, no." "We got a call, sir. May we take a look?" And I considered saying, "Just let me put my ritual tools away and wipe the blood up so you don't slip." But I knew they were good guys, trying to help, so I said, "Look away, officers. Care for a cup of fresh coffee?" They took a cursory look into the kitchen, saw no mayhem, declined my offer of java, with thanks, and left. Going down the stairs, one said to the other, "3rd time this week a false alarm. This new system sucks."
This post was last modified: 01-08-2007, 12:52 PM by Bluesman Mike Lindner.
Ken Valentine Wrote:HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.Priceless....just priceless!
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was Nobody Available!"
I love it!
Ken V.
NUTS! I posted this on the wrong forum . . . should have been "Off Topic Discussion." Ah, well.
EWMAN
webby Wrote:
That makes it even better.
Thanks Webby.
Ken V.
Now that's funny! Thanks for the laugh. Not your fault it turned into a coughing fit. Sick is no fun.
Stephanie
Stephanie
Abe's raised eyebrows caused furrows in his extended forehead. "Five in twelve hours?"
"Oh, and like you've never had a cranky day?"
Glad you all enjoyed it as much as I did.
Ken V.
Ken V.
Ken Valentine Wrote:Glad you all enjoyed it as much as I did.
Ken V.
I've read about this a while back, and I'm happy to say........... That it's as good now as it was then! Thanks for the smile Ken!
Bluesman Mike Lindner Wrote:That's great. Must say, though, that the coppers in NYC come pretty quick when called. And sometimes even when they're not. 10 years ago, maybe, a Friday morning, off from work, sitting in my kitchen with a cup of coffee and pondering life. The buzzer started ringing without a stop. I buzzed back wondering who it could be. Went to the stairs outside the apartment to see. 2 Cops. "Can I help you, officers?" sez I. "Did you, or someone in apt. 11, just call 911?" sez they. I kept my wise trap under control and answered, "Why, no." "We got a call, sir. May we take a look?" And I considered saying, "Just let me put my ritual tools away and wipe the blood up so you don't slip." But I knew they were good guys, trying to help, so I said, "Look away, officers. Care for a cup of fresh coffee?" They took a cursory look into the kitchen, saw no mayhem, declined my offer of java, with thanks, and left. Going down the stairs, one said to the other, "3rd time this week a false alarm. This new system sucks."
keeping that wise trap under control!
Then out spoke brave Horatius, the Captain of the Gate: "To every man upon this earth, death cometh soon or late; And how can man die better than facing fearful odds, For the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his Gods,"
"Well, John Henry said to the Cap'n, "A man ain't nuthin' but a man. But, before I let that steam drill beat me, gonna die with my hammer in my hand, Lawd, Lawd, gonna die with my hammer in my hand."