Blake Wrote:There were quite a few small, nitpicky errors. Note that some curly quotes show up mixed with the straight ones, for example. (Yes, I'm that anal. The first step is admitting you have a problem. And I'm not there yet.)
Good catch on the spacing. I have to admit that it never occurred to me to notice.
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I have to respectfully disagree on stretching the story into a novel, though. I thought it was made for the short story format. A novel would've given too much time, I think, for Jack's prints and other information to start traveling elsewhere in the station, get filed, etc., making resolution much more difficult, if not impossible.
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Blake
Actually, my nit has nothing to do with formatting, punctuation, etc., although they ARE annoying.
My question is this. How did Jack's "steel-toed work boots" [Line 4; Page 3] magically transform into "his sneakers whispering along" [Line 19; Page 4]? I caught this discontinuity on my first read and it has annoyed me like a seed caught in my teeth ever since. I'm certainly no author, but the sneakers were evidently of some importance since they are mentioned again twice, during Jack's trip through the air shaft.
BTW, if it is of any help, you can get just about any kind of footwear, including sneakers, anymore with steel or Kevlar/carbon fiber safety toes. If I were desirous of kicking the snot out of someone, boots would certainly be my first choice, but I imagine my steel-toed shoe packs (I work in Alaska) or my safety-toed "sneaks" (we DO have summer) wouldn't feel particularly good, either.