Oh brother. For the record, I am not "dismissing" anyone's apology in a personal sense. I feel that in this case the apology is not the important thing. The important thing is that others understand WHY people got offended. That is separate from simply knowing that people WERE offended. So far we've been mostly seeing the latter, which is why I attempted to explain with examples.

Lisa

Oh brother. For the record, I am not "dismissing" anyone's apology in a personal sense. I feel that in this case the apology is not the important thing. The important thing is that others understand WHY people got offended. That is separate from simply knowing that people WERE offended. So far we've been mostly seeing the latter, which is why I attempted to explain with examples.

Lisa

Ohn sister, You dismissed his apology in the last post. He apologized because it offeneded people. So knowing people were offended and he apologized for this offense, give him credit. Say maybe in a world outside of everyone elses(in some viewpoints) that he didn't know this was offensive and found out with no uncertain terms that it is, and apoligized for it even though in his experiance this is the only place it has ever caused a problem. Big step, maybe even a leap for some guys, to apologize. How hard is it to say cool, not a problem any more. You could call me an instagator (and I probably am in this case) but I can't believe you can accept ONE word at your face value but you can't accept an apology when it is given with an explanation. And believe me everybody knows why others are offended, that's where the apology came from.


krw

I'm not sure what I want to say here, but I feel some sort of responsibility for all this...what, bickering?

Sublime apologized. I saw that and I got off my soapbox, as I said in the post. I do believe that Sublime made an honest mistake.

Lisa and Ken and Susan rallied to support my perhaps tentatively stated point of view that THAT word was offensive.

Others rallied to support Sublime's apology and voice their understanding of his misunderstanding of the use of the word.

And Lisa was honestly trying to explain what is behind the semantics.

I think we're all at a place now where we can make peace, I hope. I'm terribly uncomfortable when the family fights. And, what can I say, after 1000 posts, this place feels like home.

Hokey dokey. Maggers has spoken. I'm out.

Aside to Sublime and KRW: Honestly I don't think an apology is all that pertinent in this case, but since KRW seems bent on insisting that I am personally and melodramatically throwing Sublime's apology back in his face (to what ends I do not know), I will just say: Apology accepted, even though it wasn't to me in the first place! Happy now, KRW?

Lisa

This board seems to have gotten really uptight lately. People are jumping all over each other, making accusations, and misinterpreting what others say with out even trying to figure out what they mean. It's become a very unfriendly place as of late. Maybe people should just relax and not try to attach hidden meanings and agendas to everyone's words before they actually understand the real meaning.

Steve D
I volunteer at a "gay" thrift store just so I can get my mitts on the first books that are donated (Hollywood has such great horror and sf stuff). The majority of staff there are "gay." And they call each other "queer" and "lesbo" all the time. I'm referred to as "the straight" not "straight" but "the straight". I asked about the term "lesbo" to gather what their take on it was and was answered, "Well, that's what we are." Unsatisfied with this answer I googled the word and found this article which I hope is the last word on the matter (please, please, I only caught on to this thread today and didn't get to post while the going was hot): http://www.technodyke.com/features/dword.asp

Steve D
And they call each other "queer" and "lesbo" all the time. I'm referred to as "the straight" not "straight" but "the straight". I asked about the term "lesbo" to gather what their take on it was and was answered, "Well, that's what we are."

I have several black friends that have no problem calling each other "nigger". I have several gay friends that call each other "fag" or "queer" or "queen". But if I ever called any of them anything along those lines I'd be blacklisted and would probably have my ass kicked.

I'm not saying it's fair or right or equal, but considering the mentality of our country (and I'm speaking of America now) common courtesy is you don't call people derogatory names unless you are a person of the same color, sexual preference, whatever. Period.

But I'm from the midwest, so what do I know?

"I didn't know Margaret Cho was supposed to be funny. I just thought that she was a televised chink."


Lisa

Actually Ms. Cho. addressed this, "I'm not a chink, I'm Korean, that makes me a gook"

She said she did a tour in the south and the main drawbacks were the weather and the bigotry.

"the bigotry was kind of like the weather, you know, it's not the so much the heat it's the humidity, with the bigotry, it's not so much the hate as the stupidity"

I love that analogy, it should be on the SAT's

keith the elder

....
"... with the bigotry, it's not so much the hate as the stupidity"

Keith, well said. And BTW, LOVE your avatar! Is that your cat?

I have several black friends that have no problem calling each other "nigger". I have several gay friends that call each other "fag" or "queer" or "queen". But if I ever called any of them anything along those lines I'd be blacklisted and would probably have my ass kicked.

I'm not saying it's fair or right or equal, but considering the mentality of our country (and I'm speaking of America now) common courtesy is you don't call people derogatory names unless you are a person of the same color, sexual preference, whatever. Period.

But I'm from the midwest, so what do I know?

Marc, so true! Same here in NYC. If I ever tried to called my friends of color the "N" word or "Rican" or something similiar, I'd be bitched slapped from here to kingdom come. So I would think it's the same all over.