These are old, but they're new to me:
1. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?"
2. "Ohh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off."
3. "You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread."
4. "Wait a minute...I get it. What time of the month is it?
5. "You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?"
6. "Sorry. I was just picturing you naked."
7. "Whoa, time out Honey; football is on."
8. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning."
9. "Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?"
10. "Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded."
They passed an old woman who was just opening the door of a brown Cadillac. An old man was already sitting in the passenger seat. The car had a personalized plate with the letters “J-U-S-P-R-A-Y”.
“That stuff work?” Israel said to her.
“‘Scuse me?” the little old woman said, clutching her keys.
“The spray. Does it keep them away?”
“Keep who away?” She looked confused.
“I gotcha.” Israel gave her a conspiratorial wink.
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