Last year director Alexandre Aja burst onto the Hollywood scene with his grisly but misguided tale of intensity in High Tension (Haute Tension).

2006 marked his return to the genre with the remake of Wes Craven's drive-in shocker The Hills Have Eyes.

I don't recall much of the original save for some rather human looking mutants stalking a family who broke down in the middle of the desert. The general premise is the same here but elements have been added which were not present in the original.

Of these elements are the massive amounts of gore strewn liberally through the movie which include animal cruelty, rape, cannibalism, torture and a slow burning death scene that had me scrambling for my sunblock.

The cast ranges in age from middle aged parents to mid-twenties daughters to a teenage son and 2 dogs German Sheps. All competent actors but like any horror movie cast highly forgetable.

The true star of this film is not the family or the disfigured mutants (Miners who refused to leave the area prior to nuclear bomb drop-testing in the 40's and 50's.) The star of the film is the level of intensity the film maintains throughout, a throwback to Aja's freshman effort Tension during the first half hour.

This film simply does not let up. Not on the sense of impending doom or the grisly mayhem that ensues. The carnage is so brutal that I had to stop eating my Reese's Pieces at one point and any film that makes me stop eating is a force to be reckoned with. (Unless it is a film by Uwe Bolle, then I go on a hunger strike unless Hollywood stops giving him money.)

The story seems to teeter on the verge of drama, the script creates a believeable family dynamic. The curmudgeon father, a retired cop tough-guy who loves his family and wants what's best for them. A mother who was once a 60's free-spirit but gave up the life to raise a family on Christian-based values. The two daughters, one with her husband and child in tow and another, the pot smoking slut who would rather be partying it up in Cancun then on the roadtrip to celebrate the parents 25th year of marriage. Then there is the youngest son, a teenager who seems a mix of everyone in the family. Part smart-mouth, part responsible young man on the verge of becoming an adult unbeknownst to him that he will be forced to assume the latter role much sooner than anticipated.

Then there are the 2 dogs, Beauty and Beast who are as much a part of the family as the children themselves and Beast is aptly named for reasons best left unsaid to prevent any spoilers.

The film itself is a washed out and bright piece of work. The desert scenes had me gulping down my beverage for fear of dehydration.

So is it a perfect horror film? No, the jump scares are cheap and the musical queue accompanying the scenes are too loud and come across annoying. The overall sound is phenomenal though and takes advantage of a well-equipped theaters sound system. Voices come at you from the left and then the right and the viewer feels encircled by the bad guys, especially when they start whispering. It could be said that the sound was 3-Dimensional in certain scenes and used to terrifying effect.

The violence is unflinching and in your face with many cringe-worthy moments that starts with the skull cracking opening to the blood soaked finale.

There are many "Yeah right" moments, most notably the son's ability to assemble an explosive contraption that would give MacGuyver a run for his money but those moments are forgivable because the rest of the movie simply kicks-ass.

The Hills Have Eyes is the closest thing to a perfect horror movie I have seen, though it borrows heavily from atmospheres in more recent horrors like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. I for one look forward to Aja growing into the director he shows promise to be.

Hills has done for breaking down in an isolated nuclear testing town full of mutant killers stalking the innocent what Jaws did for swimming in open waters.

Well I guess I'll go see it then. I was on the fence, but as usual with any movie I'm uncertain of, you knocked me right off. But of course, I will be seeing V for Vendetta first.

Ok, I missed out on this question because I'm certain it's been asked many times - do you write critical movie columns anywhere besides here, Tony? I ask because I think you're pretty damn good at it, IMHO. I may not always agree with your opinion but your reviews are always entertaining.

Ok, I missed out on this question because I'm certain it's been asked many times - do you write critical movie columns anywhere besides here, Tony? I ask because I think you're pretty damn good at it, IMHO. I may not always agree with your opinion but your reviews are always entertaining.

Nope, my reviews are exclusive to Repairmanjack.com

I don't even spell check them before I post hence the several typos usually strewn throughout.

But I like movies as do most of the boardwalkers and like talking about movies. I also like writing so whenever I can combine the two I do. Hence the reviews.

I actually haven't done one in quite some time because I haven't been to the movies until recently.

Thanks for your kind words though.

Your reviews are one of the best parts of this board. More fun than post-stalking or trolling for political fist fights.

I wish you had more time for both seeing movies and writing. Maybe we should isolate your reviews as a separate thread or forum. They deserve to be published as they are always better than Ebert's or Roeper's.

i went to the theater last night and fell asleep during this movie.

Here's My Hills Have Eyes story...

In 1977 I attended the world premiere of the original "The Hills Have Eyes" flick, which was in the afternoon at a mall multiplex in Phoenix. Wes Craven was there, and the late Joe Viskocil, who did the special effects (mostly bullet squibs and the like), and who had also done the pyrotechnic effects for Star Wars, which had just been released (he rigged the explosion of the Death Star, as well as the blaster impacts). Cast member Michael Berryman ("Pluto") was also there in full costume, which included a leather vest over bare skin and some human bones fashioned into a necklace. Berryman has a rather unusual appearance (from IMDB.com: Berryman "...was born with "Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia" which prevents the formation of hair, fingernails, teeth, and sweat glands. The condition is rare, inherited and incurable. Despite his lack of sweat glands, he worked on The Hills Have Eyes (1977) in the desert for 5 months in 100+ degrees heat.") Berryman's looks landed him bit parts in several horror movies in the 1970s.

It was a fun afternoon. My friend (and fellow film-buff) Kelly and I happily spent the day chatting with Craven, Viskocil (who was surprised to find anyone knew who he was..., and let us help him rig up some bullet squibs on Berryman for a publicity demo), and especially Berryman, who was a fun-loving type. He would hide behind corners and leap out and shriek at unsuspecting female shoppers, who were terrified beyond description.

Good times.