From the wikipedia article on Garth Marenghi himself:
"Garth Marenghi is a fictional horror author created by English comedians Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade, and played by Holness. The character has to date appeared in two successful stage shows, the Perrier Award-nominated Garth Marenghi's Fright Knight and Perrier Award-winning Garth Marenghi's Netherhead, and a TV series for Channel 4 Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.
The character of Garth Marenghi (an anagram of 'Argh Nightmare') is self-important and displays not only a general ignorance of many subjects of which he claims knowledge (one boast made in both the stage shows and the TV series is that he has written more books than he's read), but also various other unpleasant traits including sexism and xenophobia. He is also utterly convinced of his own genius, not only as a writer but as an actor. Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is based on the premise that Marenghi not only created and wrote the series, but also plays the central character, Dr. Rick Dagless, M.D. His wooden acting - and that of his co-stars - is one of the main running jokes in the series, alongside absurd plots and deliberately poor special effects.
Garth Marenghi bears some noticeable similarities to James Herbert and Shaun Hutson, notably in his dress sense and glasses. However, he most closely resembles the appearance and style of Stephen King in the 1980s.[1]
The titles of his books have a striking resemblance to the works of Guy N. Smith, particularly the numerous references to Crabs.
Marenghi also stars in the first episode of Dean Learner's new series, Man to Man with Dean Learner, where he reveals that he lost an ear in an ambulance crash, has written a total of 436 books (all on offer, moulded into one extra long book named "The Oeuvre"), and has filmed a new movie, War of the Wasps (based on Marenghi's hatred of the Dutch), featuring most of the cast of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace."
I accidentally dropped a load of worthless change in the street. I was going to just leave it there but a burly policeman lumbered towards me and said, "You'd better pick that up, son."
I hate coppers.
"DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH.
LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE."