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TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Barry Lee Dejasu - 05-17-2004
I have yet to see the Mann-ified version of The Keep; until I do, however, I will know that there could never be a worse adaptation (oh, excuse me, "inspiration") of such a perfect piece of literary art than the atrocity known as Troy.
Just about everything in this movie was bad. No, I take that back: EVERYTHING was simply HORRENDOUS. It was simply GARBAGE. Let me explain only a little of what I think...
The characters were mutated to a point that strayed beyond any kind of cliché or stereotype; they became simply dreadful. Achilles became a pompous, over-self-glorifying jerk that seemed to show no emotion other than arrogance. Paris became a little schoolgirl--er, boy--who would rather sit and watch the battle. Agamemnon became an insane, over-the-top, bloodthirsty maniac with the same motivations as our current "President" (and not to mention just as annoying). Helen suddenly had a whole blooming romance with Paris the equivalent of yet another attempt at cashing in on poor Shakespeare's famous romance (which will remain anonymous, because what else would I be talking about?). Ajax became a huge muscle-man...and not much more. Odysseus even fell to a similar fate; he became more of a sword-ready fiend rather than the innocent thrust into a war he did not wish to be in. And where was Diomedes? And more importantly, WHERE WERE THE GODS?!
All the armor, ships, and costumes were identical, as if they were manufactured, rather than hand-crafted (which is how it would have been). All of the rooms and houses had such gaudy, Martha Stewart-esque deco and tapestries.
Finally, the movie dragged on forever (I actually checked my watch at one point, only to be sorely disappointed that less than half the movie had elapsed). There was no humor in it whatsoever, and the plot structure was a monotonous pattern of battle-dialogue-battle-dialogue.
How could Wolfgang Petersen and such a fine group of actors and actresses (well...never mind the actresses, actually) create such garbage? David Benioff should be SHOT for his adaptation of the beautiful poem that is recognized everywhere as one of the best and most wonderful pieces of literature ever.
There are so many other things I could rant about with this atrocious movie. Troy was, quite simply, THE worst movie I have EVER had the misfortune of actually spending money on, only to have my visual nerves stimulated (more like raped) from. If you don't believe me, go ahead and see it; perhaps those of us who had the pleasure of reading The Illiad are more biased towards this piece of cinematic garbage, but I will be honestly surprised if anyone other than a little girl of the age of 13 finds this movie to be even remotely entertaining.
Simply put, Troy sucked.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - jimbow8 - 05-17-2004
I must be a 13 year old girl because.......well, it was nowhere near the worst movie ever!!!! It wasn't the best either, but I was somewhat entertained by it. Keep in mind the original text has a lot of gaps and vagueries in actual story which needed to be filled in, i.e. dialogue, battle demographics, etc. I found it quite the visual spectacle and I recommend that if you are interested you see it at a matinee.
There did seem to be some liberties taken with the story, though I didn't think they destroyed the movie (remember I, for one, don't find it necessary to adapt a book to a movie EXACTLY in order for it to be a successful adaptation). Some questions I have for someone "in the know":
I was reading through some summaries of the Iliad last night and the only ones I could find seem to end soon after Achilles kills Hector and Priam comes to retrieve the body (significantly before the wooden horse and death of Achilles). Do Achilles death and the wooden horse actually occur in the Odyssey?
And when does Ajax die in the Homer epic? I am quite confident that he dies after Achilles and not the point at which he dies in the movie.
As for the characters, many (if not most) of the characters in the text I remember as having quite a few faults: Achilles and Agamemnon did argue over Briseis; Paris was quite the snobbish noble; Odysseus was reluctant to enter the war but once there fought quite valiantly; etc. And I don't understand your take on Helen/Paris.
As I said, I don't think it was a great movie (I would say it was average to good), but I found it quite entertaining to finally (this is I believe the first movie adaptation) be able to visualize one of the most legendary wars in history.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Terry Willacker - 05-17-2004
OK. Didn't like it, eh? I haven't seen Troy. I haven't seen The Keep. (I bought The Keep DVD Saturday, though. Have to check it out. But the worst movie I've ever seen is still Battlefield Earth. Dishonorable mention to Charlie's Angels 2, Deliverance, Steel Magnolias, Star Trek Generations and, although my wife loved it, Ya Ya Sisterhood.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Tyson - 05-17-2004
One of the WORST movies I've seen this year is Cold Creek Manor, stay away from this movie at all costs! It did beat out Planet of the Apes '01 though, another one I saw this year.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - SDSwami - 05-18-2004
I guess I still can't quite figure out why everyone thinks Kill Bill is just a great movie. I found the glorified violence just stupid and ended up shutting the movie off before it was finished.
Haven't seen Troy, and not real sure I want to.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Ken Valentine - 05-18-2004
SDSwami Wrote:I guess I still can't quite figure out why everyone thinks Kill Bill is just a great movie. I found the glorified violence just stupid and ended up shutting the movie off before it was finished.
You Too?
Ken V.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Kenji - 05-18-2004
May 22,Troy is release in Japan. I will see next week.
I like magnificence movies.For example,"Gradiator" ," The Lord of the Rings" , "The Last Samurai" ....So I will pleased "Troy".
About "The Keep(movie)" , I saw it long time ago, perhaps when I was junior high student. When I first saw this movie, I think "This is very dark movie...".
A few years later, I read original novel. I think "Wow,this is different with movie. I LIKE IT!".
Recent worst movie was "Hollywood Homicide". This Japanese title is "Hollywood teki satsujin jiken". I just wanna say,"Harrison,you must as soon as possible back to INDIANNA JONES !" :mad:
Kenji Asakura
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Scott Hajek - 05-18-2004
Barry Lee Dejasu Wrote:I have yet to see the Mann-ified version of The Keep; until I do, however, I will know that there could never be a worse adaptation (oh, excuse me, "inspiration") of such a perfect piece of literary art than the atrocity known as Troy.
Have you noticed that lately movies based on books are a hot property? Yet it seems the more overrated the book, the more successful the movie. And the more underrated the book, the worse the movie is (in the opinion of some, I have yet to see "Troy" for myself.)
Cases in point:
Iliad: Great literature, Lousy movie (again this is other's opinions, not mine, yet)
Lord of the Rings: Horribly overrated book, great movies.
Passion of the Christ: Overrated book, wildly successful movie (based on box office take)
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - jimbow8 - 05-18-2004
Scott Hajek Wrote:Lord of the Rings: Horribly overrated book, great movies.Overrated?! These books are great, and, as good as the movies are, they are nowhere near as good as the books. Tolkien is highly responsible for how most people view fantasy. He created a whole language and world history.
TROY: Worst. Movie. Ever. - Scott Hajek - 05-18-2004
jimbow8 Wrote:Overrated?! These books are great, and, as good as the movies are, they are nowhere near as good as the books. Tolkien is highly responsible for how most people view fantasy. He created a whole language and world history.
If I am restating my opinion, I am sorry. But, I hated book one, truly despised book two, and only after talking with someone who reads the trilogy once a year, have reconsidered reading book three. But not any time soon.
Tolkien may have created a whole language, history, different races. But, he didn't write a very good book. Pacing, style, just about everything... I didn't like. I especially hated the character Tom Bombadil... I'm so glad he was excised from the movies.