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Films you can't bear - Biggles - 07-12-2006

Lisa Wrote:Maggers mentioned this on another thread and I thought it was worth pursuing. In her words:



Here's my list:

1. THE MATRIX. That's right, I said THE MATRIX. A movie that managed to be boring, confusing, pretentious, corny, embarrassing, and highly fucking unlikely--all at the same time.

2. THE ENGLISH PATIENT. I was actually angry that I sat through the whole thing. Dull and duller.

3. AFFLICTION. Nothing "wrong" with this one. Acting, writing, directing are all excellent. But it is deliberate, disturbing, and harrowlingly realistic. So much so that it ceases to be entertainment and becomes difficult or impossible to watch more than once.

4. TITANIC. "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" "Jack!" Rolleyes

5. MOULIN ROUGE. This film gave me motion sickness. I'm not kidding.

6. MEET JOE BLACK. I almost killed myself after I watched this, just so I wouldn't have to "meet Joe Black" before I die. Most boring romance EVER.

7. FALLEN. Way overrated. All the plot elements were done before and better. And the ending is dumb.

8. DANGEROUS LIAISONS. I just can't get into John Malkovich and Glenn Close as desirable lovers. Sorry.

9. STEPMOM. Why does anyone like this movie? I don't understaaaaaaaaaand. (That was in my best "stepwhine" voice.)

10. THE PILLOW BOOK. Huh? Wha?? Ummmm. Peter Greenaway is a weirdo.

Lisa


Terms of Endearment. Yuch!


Films you can't bear - Biggles - 07-12-2006

The Mad American Wrote:A.I. What a horrible POS that wasted over two hours of my life. Spielberg should be slapped and Kubrick...well he is dead so he gets a pass I guess.


Oooh! A.I. I was ANGRY when I left the theatre after paying good money to watch that CRAP. :mad:


Films you can't bear - Biggles - 07-12-2006

Sam Wrote:There's a difference?? Big Grin

In one word: No! (Except the pain experienced by the lead actor after a wedding is usually far greater than the pain experienced by the lead actor before a funeral).

"And with a howl across the sand
I go escorted by a band of gentlemen in leather bound
NO-ONE (but someone to be found)."---A Passion Play, Ian Anderson.


Films you can't bear - cobalt - 07-12-2006

Films I COULD HAVE done without:

The Deerhunter, way too brutal.
Deliverence, again brutal.
Jaws, if hubby watches this ONE more time, I'll bite him!
Alien and Preditor sequels....once was enough guys, thank-you.
Rocky sequels :eek:
Ghostbusters II, shoulda stopped at one.
Ishtar, do I have to explain?
I'm sure more will come to me........oh........The DaVinci Code, shoulda left it a book.


Films you can't bear - Maggers - 07-12-2006

ccosborne3 Wrote:Just wanted to second the Titanic vote. LA Confidential should of been the best movie that year but got screwed over by the Titanic juggernaught.

I recently rewatched Titanic and couldn't get over what a selfish beeatch Rose was. Cheated on her fiancee, rubbed it in his face with the nudie drawing. Took the good spot on the raft while Jack froze to death. Pushed his dead body down into the murky depths so she could blow the whistle and be saved. Then to top it off she throws the big billion dollar diamond necklace that the underwater search team is looking for into the ocean.


This has to be the funniest summary of "Titantic" I've ever read, and right on, too. Great stuff.

This is a great thread to resurrect. Very funny posts here.

The Mad American Wrote:Maggers already mentioned it but I don't think it can be said enough.

A.I. What a horrible POS that wasted over two hours of my life. Spielberg should be slapped and Kubrick...well he is dead so he gets a pass I guess.

OMG, Spielberg should be slapped! Love that.

Blake Wrote:SIN CITY: Okay, I know a lot of people were heaping praise on this film in another thread, but I hated it, largely for the same reason I hated SE7EN. I found it too disturbing, though it was very artistic and well done. Nowhere near my cup of tea, though, and I hope never to see it again.
I felt like that when I saw SIN CITY, too. But I watched it again with a friend and somehow the god awful violence was more cartoonlike, sort of like the Road Runner.


Films you can't bear - Amon - 07-13-2006

The Last Samurai - I am a bit of a Japanophile, so that wasn't what made me dislike this film. You can probably already guess what it was. Yep, that's right, our resident nutjob and zealot, Tom Cruise. Such a noble and majestic people as the Japanese should not be subjected to Cruise's presence.

ID4 - Independence Day - Other than the blown-up and pretentious SFX, this film had nothing to offer other than Will Smith's lame attempts at humour as the last of his street-cred disappeared.

The Sixth Sense - Bruce Willis as a sensitive psychologist? That's believable. Rolleyes


Films you can't bear - Keith the Elder - 07-13-2006

"A River Runs Through It" Two brothers enjoy fishing while growing up. They go to college, come home, go fishing, go to a dance, go fishing, one brother is killed, the other gets old and goes fishing. The End.


Films you can't bear - Kenji - 07-13-2006

Films I can't bear.....

The Haunting (1999):SFX(CG and mechanical effect) was good, but I guess Jan De Bont didn't know how to make horror movie...

The Lawnmower Man:I doubted it was based on King's story. Totally crap!

Nightmare on Elm St. sequels: First one was pretty creepy and scary. But after that, all sequels were silly. Not scary anymore. Freddy became idiot.Rolleyes

The Bone Collector:Well, Denzel Washington was great actor and he was good for Lincoln Rhymes. But one BIG problem was adaptation. Jeffery Deaver's book was good but screenplay was terrible.

Bridge of madison County:I am Clint Eastwood fan but I don't wanna see his love story film. I quit it in first 20 minutes.


Films you can't bear - Lisa - 07-13-2006

Keith the Elder Wrote:"A River Runs Through It" Two brothers enjoy fishing while growing up. They go to college, come home, go fishing, go to a dance, go fishing, one brother is killed, the other gets old and goes fishing. The End.

OMG! I watched that a few months ago and had the same reaction. What a snoozefest. Another like that is "Open Range." Of course I despise Kevin Costner so that didn't help.

Lisa


Films you can't bear - GeraldRice - 07-13-2006

Erin Brockavich. It was a robbery giving Julia Roberts the Oscar over Ellen Burstyn's performance in Requiem for a Dream.

Thelma and Louise. I thought the whole thing was annoying end-to-end.

Easy Rider. I just didn't care about either of them. Even the tagline annoyed me: "A man went looking for America and couldn't find it anywhere!". I guess that was supposed to be the America he was looking for wasn't there. The one he found certainly didn't surprise me.

Super Troopers. I've tried watching it, but it wasn't funny. Just like Best in Show. Fred Willard is like anti-funny kryptonite.